I booked a one way ticket to Taipei

When I first quit my job in 2023, I had a fleeting thought of travelling the world as a nomad and living on peanuts. I calculated that I can comfortably travel on 5k a month of expenses and see the world. And I had way more than enough money to do that. Back then I was not ever aware of the proliferated nomad culture that you can find everywhere now on twitter (I wasn't even on twitter!). I just thought it sounded cool and it made a good story for my life. It was just a thought, I never acted on it. I was dating a long term girlfriend at the time and things were going well. (we broke up later that year)

Much like the startup founders I've met over the years. A lot of them are inspired by the same heroes. Alex Hormozi, Mark Zuckerberg, Collison brother, the list goes on.. The idea of locking in and achieving generational success is what we all dream of. The glory and everything. After I started working on my first startup - 3 cofounders, all based in Toronto - I told myself, this is the time to lock in. No more having fun until the startup blows up.

I think there's something about being raised in an Asian family with high expectations that shapes this type of personality. I craved the grind, I wanted to suffer. I could've stayed at my 300k chill software job and have a chill life, but I chose to quit and do startups. A 90 on your test score is not enough, I must try to get 100, or even 110. Unlike tests however, there are no upper limits to life, you can always get more.

If I ever get an exit I will be a nomad and travel the world. I told myself. Just suffer a little bit more, I'll get my reward. And then I did get an exit, but I felt it wasn't huge enough, it's not life changing. I need to defer my plans again. Not yet. Just grind a little more.

(If you can't tell, I'm the type of person to have 1000 saved potions for the final boss fight in a RPG game, only to save them for the final boss and never use them ever.)

At some point this year after I quit, my body started sending me signals. I keep thinking about this when I'm taking a shower, when I'm trying to get out of bed in the morning, when I'm eating, all the time. It was getting bad.

I talked to my parents, I talked to my friends. Just push through, they said, be patient and do what you're gonna do. I thought it was not normal, I thought it was a disease. I was getting lazy and wanted to run away from all my problems and suffering, it was not good.

But something else also happened. I started talking with friends who have had nomad experiences. I discovered the concept of the shower test. I even binge watched Anthony Bourdain and fantasized a little bit. My soul slowly but surely begins to sing a song so loud my heart cannot ignore.

I realized that I probably need to accept that this is what I want, and try to get it out of my system. No matter how badly I wanted to be the Alex Hormozi grind 24/7 type of person, I'm not (at least not right now). My body has its own desires, and right now it does not want to grind (not to mention there are no ideas that have taken off yet for me to grind). I was creating fake anxiety for myself.

I wish it was an epiphany, a quote, or something impactful that made me make my decision in an instant - that would've been more poetic. But honestly, it was just a gruesome few weeks of introspection that made me realize I needed to go through my own journey, and find out what I was meant to do.

I have no idea how long I will travel for, I could even be back to Toronto next month, and all this sentimental nonsense will probably be all for nothing. But for now I'm sitting at the airport - with a one way ticket to Taipei.